The last three weeks I have felt like a sponge. J and I had the marvelous opportunity to meet and listen to Chieko Okazaki (sp?) at the J. Reuben Clark Society (Orange County chapter) annual dinner. What an AMAZING woman. Who would've thought it possible to feel the spirit so strongly in a room full of attorney's????? ;) hehe We had the pleasure of sharing our table with five nonLDS guests: The professor who is the faculty advisor for the society at ULV Law (she is a neat lady--- I could write a whole blog about her!!), her husband, and two female students (one brought her boyfriend-also a law student). Sis. Okazaki is truly a wonderful teacher and gifted speaker. It was really neat to hear her speak in a "non-church" setting but with the strength of the gospel in everything she said. Of course quoting scripture and giving wonderful analogies. Our three female students next to me all seemed to enjoy the evening as well. All I could think to myself is, "if only you knew what a woman of God she truly is!!!" =D
She talked about having the heart of warrior and what that entailed. I loved her second piece of advice. It was to "take everything personally". At first this really puzzled me. As with many stressful jobs, attorneys are constantly having it drilled into them to "not take things personally". Otherwise it causes too much stress, etc. She went on to talk about how important it is to TAKE things personally. Let things affect you in such a way that you do not become detached. This is what allows you to make good moral decisions. It is much harder to take things personally because it can cause deeper personal reflection and require more patience but ultimately, this sort of sacrifice is more in line with how the Savior would have us handle things. She went on in more detail of course, but this point really struck me. To take things personally. As women, we tend to have such tender souls and take things personally even when we shouldn't!!! I do notice that I start to build a little brick wall around myself to protect me from "taking things personally". I wonder if sometimes I leave this wall up even when I should take it down and soften my heart. Is this making sense to anyone? Do you ever feel that there are times you SHOULD be taking something personally, but choose to ignore it because it's easier to be a little detached?
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I used to do this all of the time. Especially as the years went on without any baby or even a late day or two, I just shut myself off. It was the only way that I could get myself through the day. But one day I realized that I was limiting the blessings that I could be receiving, because by shutting myself off I was also shutting out the Spirit. I would like to say that I then opened my heart and all of these miracles happened, but that is not the case. I started to be more open and I started hurting a lot more. But some days I just found that I had more strength to get through it. And then it started to hurt less. I think that the Lord really blessed me with the ability to withstand more, the more willing I was to experience it.
(That being said, some days I do just shut down and eat ice cream in the bathtub while reading a mystery.)
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