..."and ROOT BEER in all the drinking fountains!!!!"

You know how every family has "family legends"? At least that's what I like to call them. The stories from your life that are shared to teach your kids lessons? Sometimes they start out as just a funny story. Such as this one:

When my dad was in grade school he ran for... I believe it was class president. He was a generally likable kid. Probably not the most popular. Didn't have any particularly great plans for the office of class president. But he ran a campaign that made him a practical shoe-in. He won. (Oh yes, he won.)

Let me share with you his campaign strategy. This campaign strategy has taught me more about politics than I have ever needed to know.

Campaign Strategy #1: Make a great poster. (i.e. Get some sort of hip slogan and media out there to promote yourself)

Dad had an older bro who was in high school. So, cool, art-talented, older bro makes Dad's ratfink-like posters, which include the great slogan, " " (shoot.. the slogan is not coming to me right now. Someone help me on this!!)

Campaign Strategy #2: Promise the kids root beer. Lot's of root beer. (i.e. Tell the people whatever it is they want to hear. You can promise lot's of good things without having any real strategy or plan on implementing them. Just promise the good things-- people are gullible.)

Dad promised the kids root beer. In ALL of the drinking fountains. What's not to love about that???? I believe he promised some other great things that sounded wonderful. Things like less homework, longer recess. You know. He had all of the answers to every kids most pressing issues with school politics.

Did he want root beer in all of the drinking fountains? Sure! Did he have any way of seeing this promise come to fruition? Golly, no! Did anyone care? No one seemed to think of that!


Campagin Strategy #3: Speeches: Make them laugh. (i.e. Just make the people feel good. Again, promise whatever the heck you want. Also, use distraction.)

The last day of the campaign each of the candidates was to give a speech in the school auditorium. I'm unclear on the details here (someone, please email me with these fill in the blanks so I can update this post!) but SOMEONE received a pie in the face at the end of Dads speech.

Really? Did they even need to "vote" at this point?????

I remember first hearing this story when asking my dad about what he was like in grade school. I thought it was pretty funny at the time. As I grew older and talked about the story with my dad and pondered it myself it took on a whole new meaning. It pretty much defines politics for me. At every level.

These days, when I hear a politician making grand promises for such vague declarations of "change" and "hope", I think to myself, "....and root beer in ALL of the drinking fountains!!!!"