Glamour Mormon "Virgin" and My Strange Plea (recently edited)

Thought that title'd get your attention.

Have you read the latest Glamour??? (Because I have. For free. If you like free magazines I'll let you in on my secret some time. Shoot me an email.) Anyhow, back to the subject at hand.

I cannot find any link or reference to this piece online, but there is an article written by some Mormon chick towards the end of the magazine. It is about her exploits and her quest to remain a "virgin". Notice how I keep using quotes around "virgin". Yeah. Because "everything but..." means "virgin". According to this chick.

I am sick of these media whores! The naive, young, Mormon girl turned educated, cosmopolitan tart whose sudden enlightenment as to the ways of the world has left her reeling in a quandary. "I'm so torn!" "No one taught me about sex. I thought it was dirty and forbidden and now I am so confused because I want it so bad!" I'm paraphrasing. But you get the point.

Really?? REALLY?? And you are STILL so sheltered that you believe your cloistered, distorted youth, is an accurate representation of the average Mormon adolescent?????? Or that this representation is the Mormon "standard"? That this is what is taught (or rather, NOT taught) by the LDS church? Because that is how it is portrayed. Because that is how you wrote it.

You are from a small town, PLEASE take note of this detail. Because your naivete in ALL areas of "worldliness" has more to do with your small town upbringing than the fact that you are Mormon. ("My mother, who once referred to Manhattan as Babylon"... Oh PUHleez! My wonderfully Mormon mother is from NYC!!!) Seeing as church members come from all over the world, including big cities, including various socio-economic backgrounds and cultures, you will find me hard pressed to believe that "most Mormons" experience extreme culture shock when presented with REAL LIFE, REAL WORLD situations.

I am SO tired of this. Chicks from some small town, or a backwards family, or parents who somehow missed the boat when it came to the LDS church's teachings on how to approach the topic of sex with your children.

I'm not really sure where these problems stem from. If they are true problems churchwide, or, as I suspect, limited to families who come from small midwestern or Utah towns, families who don't communicate much-in general, and other similar situations. Or perhaps I am in the minority? Perhaps my Mormon upbringing in Los Angeles County, by parents who were both very active in the church, and who brought up the "tough" subjects in a loving way, was a rarity?

Perhaps my Mormon friends can chime in on this.

I guess it doesn't matter where this problem comes from, or how widespread it is, because these are the kids who grow up to make the op-ed piece in the magazines. These are the kids that get put in the spot light on shows like MTV's Real World. These are the kids that media and "the world" like to put on the pedestal as the strange, backwards Mormon standard. Which is NOT ok. We need to have more strength in the young adults of tomorrow. We need those who have already questioned, grown in maturity and deveoped a well-rounded testimony of basic gospel principles. Those who are not ashamed or unsure of their beliefs should be held as the Mormon standard.

So here is my plea:

To the parents out there who are reading this, especially the Mormon ones who are not broaching the subject of sex with their children,

PLEASE teach your children about sex. Because I cannot stand to read about or watch another senseless Mormon chick proliferate on her sexual exploration escapades. I don't want to hear, "....because everything I knew about sex I learned in church," followed by a rudimentary object lesson on "dirty, half-eaten cookies". Yes, we believe sex is sacred. It is special. Chastity and morality and virtue are important. It does not mean these subjects are taboo.


Some quotes from just one Church resource ("Teaching About Procreation and Chastity" in the Family Home Evening guidebook)":

• We have the responsibility to teach our children the eternal purposes of their creative powers and of the sexual desires they will experience. We should use the teaching moments when children are most receptive to instruction and learn to create such moments if they do not arise naturally.
• It is important to teach children that Heavenly Father did not intend sex to be something evil and corrupt. Rather sex has two basic purposes: first, to enable us to have children to fulfill God's command to "be fruitful, and multiply" (Genesis 1:28), and second, to express that special kind of love shared between a husband and a wife.
• Parents need to be patient with teenagers and let them know that they are trusted. They should discuss questions about morality in an open and relaxed manner. Parents can be understanding and loving and hold fast to high principles. They shouldn't become angry or embarrassed as they answer their teenagers' questions, although some questions may seem to show irreverence for Church principles.
• God expects parents in the Church to teach their children about procreation and chastity and to prepare them for dating and marriage. This responsibility should not be left to schools, friends, playmates, or strangers. Heavenly Father wishes his children to understand how to use this great and holy power wisely and reverently. If parents will seek the guidance of the Spirit in humble prayer, he will help them teach their children about this sacred power.

Thank you.


P.S. Thanks, Mom, for taking your duties of motherhood seriously, and teaching and preparing me in the most appropriate ways possible.